Who gives a fuck?

This November 1st public holiday (All Saints, if you don't happen to live in a catholic country) keeps on amazing me. If you have good weather, you can have the privilege of witnessing the whole country going somewhere at the same time, and coming back at the same time. Then, surprise surprise, there is traffic! how amazing! today the queue on the way to Rome was around thirty-five kilometres!

But this wasn't what I was going to talk about. Given that the whole country is away, supply of proper news is a bit on the short side. The obvious consequence is abundance of what I call the "who gives a fuck" sort of newsbit. Here's a few examples for your joy and delight.

Here's a good starter: the EU tries to reassure us about chicken flu, and what do they say? you can eat raw eggs! Thanks very much, I was already contemplating suicide for not being able to do so. What a relief!

Then the meal goes on: Italian men produce their first kids later than men from all other nationalities. Revelation! I believe it must have taken hordes of scientists and statisticians to discover that people have kids late in a country where it is perfectly normal to witness youngsters inhabiting their parents' place at the age of 35? or do we expect women to come and have sex in front of their in-laws?

But the meat is still to come. We're even trying to save extinct languages!!! When someone explains me why we're trying to save Bushman or Pygmy and at the same time we constantly flush Italian down the toilet? whenever I hear a subjunctive tense used correctly I'm tempted to expose a flag from the balcony and we're trying to save the dialects of the Amazon? do something useful in your life, for fuck's sake!

And could a dinner be complete without a sugary dessert from nothing less than our beloved Pope Benedict XVI? Prepare your taste buds: we must preserve Italy's holiness!!! Can I ask you something, his highness? in the name of fuck, what holiness do you mean? that of the homicides, corruption, tax evasion? is it the holiness of the person who shoots trick-and-treaters (hat tip to Corpodibacco)? or the one that has our civil servants arrange official meetings with terrorist organizations?

I'm getting pissed off. I'd better not give a fuck.